ROBOT BUTT NEWS

10 Best Things To Stream On Teebli This Holiday Season

By Tucker Comes

December 12, 2025

If you love the holidays and can’t afford any of the 14 major streaming services, there’s no better place to…

BREAKING: 5-Year-Old Idiot With Bad Opinions Doesn’t Like The Classic Christmas Movie I Showed Them

By Robot Butt News Corp.

December 7, 2025

In a new report coming straight from my sister’s house, a local niece and all-around dumbass doesn’t understand cinema. This…

BREAKING: Dad Wants To Know “If Y’all Got Any Snow Up There Yet”

By Robot Butt News Corp.

December 11, 2025

CHICAGO, IL – After calling 10 minutes ago to ask you the name of the guy from Nobody 2 and…

Spirit Christmas Bringing Backrooms Fun to the Post-Halloween Season

By Maury Levine

December 2, 2025

Sprit Halloween is expanding it’s new store, Spirit Christmas, to over 30 locations across the country beginning in December. According…

Mickey D’s Last Batch of Fortune Cookies:

By Jesper Sørensen

December 10, 2025

They do not represent the opinions or values of the Wanton Wonton Fortune Cookie Company. Here at the Wanton Wonton…

Morally Questionable Life Lessons That Christmas Movies Teach Our Children

By David Christopher Johnston

December 6, 2025

These classic holiday movies are watched every year by millions of kids, but what lessons are they actually taking away…

Best Ways to Learn a New Language (from Hardest to Easiest)

By Behzad Barkhordari

December 1, 2025

Are you trying to learn a new language but don’t want the Duolingo bird to send you push notifications telling…

New Fox Reality Show: POTUS PARDONS: WHO'S NEXT?

By Ken Hogarty

December 9, 2025

Setting Odds for Going Down with the Ship Protection Fox’s new TV reality show, “POTUS PARDONS: WHO’S NEXT?” should prove…

Mall Santa Exists in a Liminal Space

By Andrew Shipman

December 8, 2025

Bill Green (7’2, 460 lbs) is just a normal guy with no job, just like you. Bill Green wakes up…

LIFE HACK: Tell Your Kids Santa Is Getting You A Nintendo Switch 2 In Front Of Your Ex-Wife Because Then She Has To Buy You One Or Your Kids Will Find Out Santa Isn’t Real, And It’s Okay Because She Makes Way More Money Than You And The Kids Will Play It Sometimes On The Weekends

By Walt Braley

December 3, 2025

This universal and relatable lifehack can be used by just about anyone this holiday season. It’s simple, effective, and will…