What in the ever-loving fuck is a hydration error? Sounds like some hipster bullshit a barista would spew when your overpriced oat milk latte isn't wet enough. "Oh, my bad, bro, your coffee's got a hydration error". Get the fuck outta here. And "tree shaking"? Are you kidding me? What is this, a coding bootcamp or a lumberjack convention? "Yeah, boss, I spent all day shaking trees to trim my JavaScript bundle. Where's my flannel shirt?". Who the hell invents this pretentious crap? I don't have time to decode your buzzword salad, you self-important jackass. HTML doesn't pull this nonsense. It just fucking works.

Ever seen some motherfucker hire a whole team just to babysit HTML? That's fucking right. Nobody does that bullshit. HTML is so damn reliable it doesn't need a 24/7 support hotline like some needy-ass framework. While your bloated, over-engineered frameworks are out there throwing tantrums every time a browser updates or crying for patches every five minutes, HTML just sits back, cracks a beer, and does its goddamn job. So next time some slick salesman tries to shove "premium HTML support" down your throat, tell them to fuck off.

Deploying HTML? That's easier than deleting your browser history after a porn binge. Just throw your files into a web server directory, and boom. The whole fucking internet can see your crappy page. No 12-step deployment process, no DevOps wizards casting spells, no fucking Docker containers or CI/CD pipelines. Just drag, drop, and you're done. Meanwhile, your fancy frameworks need a goddamn NASA launch sequence just to push a button that says "Hello, World". HTML doesn't give a shit about your trendy deployment tools. It's the dive bar of the web: always open, no frills, just works. Your framework? The hipster café that"s "temporarily closed" every time you need it.